It is very interesting to me how people interpret what comes into their lives through their own filters. One of the great spiritual directives is not to take things personally, but so many people take whatever happens as some kind of personal affront, or threat, or judgment against them, when, in actuality, it has nothing to do with them at all.
A teacher of mine once gave me a wonderful analogy regarding this. This is what he shared with me: Let’s say you walk into a room where a party is going on, or a group of people are gathered As you walk into the room, someone catches your eye and as they do, they make a disgruntled or disgusted face. Immediately you wonder: “What have I done?” or you interpret that look as “That person doesn’t like me”, or “I have done something wrong” or “I must look weird”, etc. When in truth, what was going on was that at the moment that person looked your way and made eye contact with you, they had just farted.
Funny, yes? But, oh, so true. It happens all the time. It is our own paranoia and lack of confidence and security that engenders this response on our part. If we feel threatened or unsafe within ourselves, then no matter what someone else does, we will take their actions to be a threat, or a judgment against us. We may interpret what someone else does as disrespecting us, perhaps, if we have, say, an issue of believing that no one nurtured us, or listened to us, or valued us. If we don’t feel good enough, or worthwhile, we will hear everything someone says as coming through that filter. We may, for instance, take it that a person is bullying us, and hear whatever they say that way, if we believe ourselves to be victims. This kind of issue can extend even so far as to how we react to the way others live their lives, or the decisions a politician may make. That person may not even be remotely in our lives personally. Yet, that sense of threat is still there, and therefore the belief that they are doing something that will harm oneself, somehow, is still present. That is the kind of filter, then, that everything flows through and is polluted with, no matter what the other person is doing, whether that person is a close friend or relative, or someone only distantly in one’s life in some way. The trigger gets triggered all the same.
The truth is – a person just is who they are, and behaves in whatever way they are wired up, and it has nothing to do with us, UNLESS it triggers an inner response/issue/wound that still lives within us. Then, if we are choosing to be clear and not at the mercy of our own filters, we must recognize that as our own paranoia, our own fear, and deal with and explore, honestly, why we got triggered.
One of the Laws of the Universe states that: IT IS NEVER ABOUT ANOTHER PERSON, PLACE, OR THING.
And because of this, we do not have to take what anyone else does, personally.
If a person finds themselves triggered or making a judgment about something, or in reaction, it is always their own stuff – their own issue – that has been activated and that needs to be explored and healed.
In this way, one can find one’s own power and clarity, and can move mountains, for whatever the mountain is that a person feels may be blocking their way – they can move it because they brought it there to begin with, and it is theirs to disassemble, if they choose.